I used to go all out to help my clients prep for their headshots. Like make them their very own, customized style guide based on the answers in the workbook I give them.
But I felt like it was super limiting, so I started letting them dress themselves without my influence (it works a lot better that way).
However, small details add up and can make or break the quality of your final photos, so there are a few prep tips for headshots I’d still recommend.
Prep Tip 1: Exfoliate your lips
When you’re up close and personal with a camera, chapped lips can be super distracting.
They’re also not easy to photoshop because of their textures and the small area to work with (unlike skin blemishes that are much easier to remove).
Pull up a quick search on Pinterest and you’ll have the smoothest DIY lips that any lighting will complement.
Prep Tip #2: Bring a professional outfit and a casual outfit
There’s a space in the studio where you can hang clothes up, so bring whatever you want. In your session we’ll go for a variety of looks so you can maximize the use of your headshots. We do that through outfits, colors, backdrops, and lighting.
You can also make great icebreakers out of your outfits if you’re not a fan of small talk. My free guide explains how to do that here.
Prep Tip #3: Wear colors that match your vibe and your eyes
My clients teach me a lot of things, and the eye color tip’s one of them. One client said that not matching your outfit colors to your eyes can make you look way older than you are. What a great tip!
Here are 2 ways to find color schemes for your outfits:
Explore Adobe Color—type in your eye color & see what palettes come up
Google or search Pinterest— “color schemes for _____ eyes”
You can see the difference colors play in headshots below:
Prep Tip #4: Wear the outfit you care least about first
This is perhaps the most important tip I can give you. Why? Because save the best for last.
Headshots are awkward (why I mostly take my own), and no one ever knows what to do for the first 10 minutes. You’re probably going to look stiff in the first couple shots, and that’s expected.
But. If you love your outfit but hate how you look in it, you’re not going to want to use any of those images. And that could mean throwing out the ones you need to use to get your next job.
Once you’re in the middle of your session feeling more relaxed and like you know what you’re doing, you’re going to bring out your best shots. You’ll want to make sure your favorite outfits are around for that version of you 🙂
(And don’t worry—we go through your photos at your session, so if you’re unhappy, we can fix them immediately.)
Prep Tip #5: Dress for full-body shots
Truth is, while I have some shots planned for your session, they’re pretty in-the-moment. So you want to make sure you’re ready for sitting and standing poses which may include just the waist up or all the way down to your shoes (so match those too!).
Other prep tips for headshots:
Clean up your nails (mostly if they’re chipped…they don’t have to be perfect).
Have your hair & makeup done professionally if you don’t trust yourself.
Don’t overdo your look! You want congruency. The more you match who you say you are, the more people will trust you
Bring some props—a hat, scarf, beer…you never know what we’ll do with them!
That’s it for now! Enjoy using these prep tips to craft headshots that are true to you 🙂
All good things, Lauren
Tired of being overlooked on social platforms?
This guide will help you find your ideal audience and show you how to catch their attention with your next headshot. Click the image to download. (It’s free)
Some of my dearest friends are people I went to high school with but didn’t meet until after I graduated. Caitlin’s one of them. And she’s easily the friend that brings out my best, goofiest self.
Pair us with her fiancé, Austin, and, well, you never really know what to expect.
But I wasn’t super surprised when I had to stop myself from peeing my pants when Austin called me out for my hype in the middle of their session.
Austin has taken the world of Bitcoin by storm, and (unrelated) I make him freestyle every time I see him. He is so good at everything he sets out to do. He’s a genius when it comes to investing his money, and he’s picked up some really interesting hobbies, like building cars, because of it.
Caitlin’s a free spirit who doesn’t take the world around her too seriously, and brings unrelenting smiles and laughter to the people in her view. She also kills it as a manager at Starbucks. She got their sales to skyrocket when the pandemic very easily could have plummeted them (which she was rightfully recognized for).
Together they are some of the most energizing and hilarious people. They travel and hang out with their talking dog, Maya.Not only have I heard her clearly pronounce the word “Yes” when Caitlin asked her if she was hungry, I’ve received several Snapchats of her speaking nearly full sentences, like “Yes, I do.”
I love these guys. And Maya. And this engagement session was such a gift for me. I hope it was for them, too.
Ryan’s a guy that loves four-wheeling and spent most of his life as a roofer. Recently he decided to leave that commitment for a new adventure in real estate. His wife—a very busy frontline Covid nurse—said it only made sense to support him and his new dreams.
Ryan wanted to give off a feel in his photos that 1. showed his relatability, and 2. appealed to a spectrum of higher-end clientele and everyday buyers.
With our time together in the studio, here’s what we came up with. Enjoy Ryan’s real estate headshot session!
When Theresa and I got in touch about her studio headshots, a parakeet was singing in the background of our Zoom call.
She told me that years ago her neighbor asked her to take him since he was moving and couldn’t bring the bird along. So she brought him in without realizing that he’d live years and years, into 2020!
I love that story, and when she told me it, my response to the unexpected life-long commitment was, “Sounds like a tattoo…that you have to feed!”
(I know, such a way with words.)
She laughed kindly and genuinely at my joke, and I could tell how warm of a human being she is. And that was exactly what vibe she wanted to give off in her headshots.
During her session, she joked about how strangers have always come up to her and her siblings to ask for help because they’re almost too approachable. So my job wasn’t that hard—it came through naturally in all of her poses.
What she loved about her final images was that each one showed a different side of her personality. And since she plans to open her own business in the next few years, it’s a useful way to communicate different messages to her audiences.
Julie’s the VP of Human Resources at a software company with over 200 employees.
When we spoke over our video inquiry call, she immediately gave off an air of compassion, genuineness, and a hint of I’m-here-to-get-ish-done. Because of that, I was so excited to work with her, and we ended up exchanging philosophies and book recommendations by the end of the call. (The book was Ask For More by Alexandra Carter if you’re wondering…highly recommend it.)
When her shoot came, Julie was so easy to work with and knew exactly what to do—I barely gave her any directions for her poses. She was open, and we walked away with some really stylized professional headshots.
Here’s to Julie making her mark as a leader and example of respect and dignity for everyone!
Enjoy seeing her strength & personality shine through her photos below.
Valley View Farms, oversized high heels, and a produce farm that conveniently shares your last name…Skye & Craig’s session is something I’ve dreamed of for years, and I didn’t expect any of that to be involved.
But those are the exact details that made this session stand out.
Skye’s my cousin. We’re technically 3rd cousins, but our grandmothers were twins, and they say those relatives tend to be a lot closer than their labels.
And by “they” I mean my mom, so don’t quote me.
That runs true in our family though; I’ve always felt we were much more closely related than 3rd cousins.
Skye and Craig have been together for years, and while we haven’t had the opportunity to be in each others’ lives the past few, I’ve still always wanted to take their engagement photos—so much that I didn’t even give them a chance to look around at other photographers once I found out about the proposal 😅 (I don’t think they minded).
I can’t speak enough about how talented these two are!
Craig’s a NASA-obsessed, musical-composing genius, and Skye has every artistic ability under the sun. Put them together and you have endless music, baking, singing, drawing, and creating together.
These photographs are so dear to me. I love these Hubers-to-be, and I hope you love them a little bit after seeing their photos, too.
Soccer, lakes, and innocent silliness are a few things that define the Pollard family.
As a branding photographer, I’m always looking to ask, “How do you want to be remembered?” And when it comes to family photography, I find ways to make sure those elements are incorporated into each session.
That’s why every family’s photographs have so many memorable moments—their images are on-brand for their family. Each session influences me to show up in a different way, and I absolutely adore the candid opportunities that come with that.
The Pollards own a cabin a few hours out but noted the importance of that location. So when it came to it, I took them to my favorite place—Lake Williams in Jacobus, PA.
They were astonished when we got there…Nikki had heard about this lake but never imagined it to be as beautiful as it is. And honestly, the only downside to shooting this session here was that we didn’t get to cover the entire area.
It gave the kids enough space to be kids, and enough gorgeous views to keep everyone in awe.
This family is kind, patient, and loving. I’ve never seen siblings get along so well (and if they were faking it, well, I’ve never seen siblings fake it so well 😉
Enjoy the Pollard’s family photos at Lake Williams!
So you want to speak on a specific topic you think will really help people, but right now you feel like no one needs your influence. Or you’re afraid of the backlash you’ll receive from it, so you’re hesitating on putting it out to the world…
…This will help you get over that and see that you’ve got a gift to give.
Here’s what you’ll get out of today’s video:
00:37 | Two words that saved me when I broke a ping pong table
03:19 | Your perfect opportunity to influence people & the easiest way to get someone to do what you want them to do
04:51 | What my client, Michelle, taught me about how being your true self influences others
05:27 | The response you’ll get when you share your honest experiences, feelings, and insights (what memes already do so well)
07:33 | Why you NOT sharing your message could keep someone from being the next Oprah or Elon Musk
09:18 | My challenge to you for that message you’ve been putting off
09:46 | Resources to help you get your message to catch on
All good things, Lauren
Why people need your influence more than you think
Years ago when I was a kid, two words changed my life.
I was standing exiled in my driveway when our handyman came out, stood next to me, and lit up a cigarette. Those words spilled out from his lips with the smoke.
Looking back, it was clear he had no idea what to say to keep me, this random little girl, from crying.
And while I definitely didn’t respond (otherwise I would have bawled), it helped.
Here’s the backstory:
My parents had just gotten us a ping pong table, and after a few times of using it they decided it could use a light above it. So they called this handyman up to install it.
He showed up, put up the light fixture, and we put the table back in place.
I went about playing while they went to work on another project.
And while they were upstairs, the light bulb went out. It was a quick fix in my mind, so I—being the size of a shrimp—hopped on the table and went to screw it back in.
But then the table sunk in. And I felt all the heat of embarrassment of what was about to come, rush to my face.
I had to admit what happened to my parents. And as I expected, there was so much yelling at me for doing what I genuinely thought was the right thing to do!
So, I was exiled outside so they didn’t get any angrier.
Honestly, the table was fine and only required a quick fix, but I lost interest in playing ping pong (you know, now that I associated it with my parents screaming at me).
On that day, I felt like no one was in my corner. What was the point of trying to be helpful if was always wrong and punished for my efforts at the end of the day?
(And yes, I still disagree with how my parents handled the situation and make them feel bad about it whenever it comes up 😉
But what sticks out to me most out of that entire memory were those two words: shit happens.
The handyman could have remained uncomfortable and silent because it wasn’t his place to get involved. But instead, he chose to say something despite his own cluelessness on whether or not it would help.
And his easy energy helped me get through the situation. Even if I didn’t show it. And it definitely helped me brush off my mistakes as an adult.
So if you feel ineffective with your words, or like you’ve never made an impact in someone’s life, I promise you that’s not the case.
Some people just aren’t able to tell you what you’ve done for them.
If you’re hesitating on sharing a message right now, here are 3 good reasons you have to.
1. People follow what they can see
This is a great lesson that Jonah Berger writes about in his book, Contagious. He talks about observability (and it’s actually the reason that anti-drug campaigns inspire more drug use than not!).
Do you ever see videos of a crowd surrounding a fight, yet no one steps in to help? Deep down everyone’s thinking, “Someone should do something!” but they’re also thinking, “someone else will take care of it”.
Instead, people see people cheering, so they cheer too.
But if someone stepped in to break it up, you’d see more people stepping in to do the same.
And at the core of it, no one really knows what to do. We all assume everyone else has it figured out, so we let the “adult” step in.
But when you’re in a room full of adults and no one’s doing anything, you have the perfect opportunity to influence the entire room to do better.
People need to be shown how to act or respond because that makes it easy for us to copy.
It’s a domino effect, and you get to be the catalyst, or you become pushed over like everyone else.
2. People need your permission
If we keep our thoughts to ourselves, we become isolated and think we’re the only ones who feel that way.
When you let your own guard down and share your honest thoughts and experiences, here’s what you’ll get:
“I thought I was the only one! Thank you for sharing this—you’ve made me feel so much better!”
Your words can literally release someone from years of guilt and shame over something that was never a big deal in the first place.
Just like the cool and calm “shit happens” mentality.
But that won’t happen if you keep your thoughts to yourself.
This happened at a conference I attended once. The speaker asked, “What’s one seemingly unrelated thing you need to change in your daily life to help you finish your project?”
I know you know that awkward feeling I felt… I shouldn’t share my answer…I’m going to embarrass myself and it’s really not important anyway.
But I got past my own mental block and took the mic and said, “I need to stop falling asleep with makeup on and instead wash my face at night.”
So irrelevant. And I was certain I was the only one.
To my surprise, there was an instant wave of relatability across the entire room.
Later on, a woman in her late 60s came up to me and said, “Lauren, you have no idea how much shame I carried around my whole life because I didn’t wash my face! I feel so much better that you shared that!”
(She later became an amazing client of mine.)
What you openly share reminds people that they’re human and they’re not punishable for having a weird habit.
You gain their trust, their friendship, and help them heal.
(That’s also why people bond so well over memes. They’re hilarious because they’re honest and normalize what we often feel isolated about.)
3. You may be the only person someone feels comfortable learning from
Imagine being in a classroom with a teacher you’re too intimidated to ask questions to.
You’d miss out on precious information and clarity, and your grades would suffer because you didn’t feel comfortable speaking up.
That’s often what life is like for most of us.
It took me a ton of effort to get past that fear myself, and there are still times I’m too scared to ask.
So imagine what your influence could do for someone else.
What could you help someone learn? What could you open someone up to if you created a space for them to ask “dumb questions” without feeling embarrassed?
At one job I worked, I barely knew enough about my role or the industry to get by. But for some reason, there was a new guy who would always come to me when he had a question.
I didn’t get it, but I always did my best to get him an answer.
And later when I left he admitted to me that I was the only one he felt comfortable enough to ask his am-I-supposed-to-know-this questions to.
If you keep your influence to yourself. If you don’t get your knowledge out there in your own way. Then someone’s missing out on their calling to become the next Oprah or Elon Musk.
Because no one else’s messaging is landing for them right now. But yours might.
Start speaking up — someone needs your influence right now.
That video you were hesitating on making. That conversation you were stalling on having. Go do it. And come back and tell me about what good comes from it, and how much lighter you feel, and how much you helped someone.
Because someone somewhere needs your influence right now. They are silently asking for you to intervene so they can free themselves. So speak up, lovingly, and trust that it’s doing good.
If you’ve been thinking about building an influence but don’t know where to start, my personal branding photography experience includes personal brand consulting to help you share your story & make it visible. That or my personal brand consulting will help you connect the dots on all the questions that are keeping you from getting your message out to the people who need it right now.
All good things, Lauren
P.S. Want to start making an influence right now? You can do that by planning your headshots. I have a free guide you can get on how to build your personal brand with your headshots. Get that here.
I’ll be honest—I’m no fashionista for my everyday self (I don’t care enough to dress up every day).
My best clothes are hand-me-downs from my sister (rompers, jumpers, and Instagram-worthy tops). And if left to my own devices, the most I’ll do for myself is pair a casual v-neck with the same ol’ jeans.
And actually, my lazy style is a good thing for both of us. Because my sister’s style is a staple for her, and my casual look is a staple for me.
It’s on-brand for both of us, and it’s what makes each of us memorable and likable. If a friend saw one of us walking down a crowded street, it’s one way they would recognize us.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love to dress up when I can, and it doesn’t make a difference what you wear at the end of the day (more on that here).
But when you’re wondering what to wear to your headshot session, it helps to know how what’s on-brand for you.
Because that’s what building your personal brand is all about—being recognizable in your own way. And that’s exactly what you want to remember when figuring out what to wear for your headshots.
Here’s what you’ll take away from this video:
0:00 | One question you should ask yourself before deciding what to wear for your headshot session
1:17 | Why you should never ask someone else what to wear for your headshot session
1:56 | The outfit that’ll set you apart from everyone else (and prevent catfishing)
2:42 | Your personal outfit guru and how to use it to clean up your favorite everyday looks
3:04 | How to craft an outfit that’s a great icebreaker/conversation starter for the next time you’re in an interview (plus a guidebook that will help you design them)
3:57 | Knowing this will save you from looking like a potato in your headshots
5:39 | How to make one outfit go a long way so you get more time on camera and spend less time changing
6:17 | How to be strategic & intentional before planning your headshot outfits & why “what should I wear” is the last question you should ask yourself if you want people to pay attention to you.
When you’re done watching, you can access your free guide on how to build your personal brand with your headshots here.
All good things, Lauren
What to wear to your next headshot session
If you’re like me and need someone else to do the fashion work for you, these tricks will help you a lot.
But the goal is to stay true to yourself. (So maybe don’t ask someone else to style you, otherwise, you’ll end up feeling embarrassed & acting awkward on camera.)
Before deciding what to wear, yourself this:
What do I want to be recognized for?
These tips will put the creative power back in your hands. Then you’ll be able to wear the clothes you feel most comfortable in and still look sick AF in your headshots.
Tip 1: Stick to your normal day-to-day outfits
This may sound risky (or freeing), but you don’t have to try so hard. Wearing your day-to-day outfits will actually set you apart in your headshots.
Why? Because people want to know who you’ll be on the job, not who you’ll pretend to be in your interview.
Plus wearing your day-to-day outfits creates consistency. If that’s how you’ll dress on the job (or it reflects your personality), your bosses or clients won’t feel like they’ve been catfished when they see you for the first time.
Tip 2: Use Pinterest
Okay, so you know what kind of outfits you wear daily. Now pick one piece (ex: dark jeans, v-neck, cardigan) and search “_______ outfit”.
From there, take what ideas you like and leave the rest.
This will show you how to clean up your look in a professional way while still keeping your essence.
Tip 3: Bring several outfits
When you really don’t know what to wear for your headshots, I recommend showing up with a couple different outfits. You can ask for your photographer’s insight on how to pair them, and it gives you tons of wiggle room if you’re afraid of choosing the wrong outfit.
But the main reason you want to bring several outfits to your headshot session is to show off different aspects of your personality.
Think about it—if you’re professional, but you have a side of you that loves going to concerts, why not show both?
When you show that you’ve got your shit figured out in one photo… And then you show you’ve got your shit figured out and love The Black Keys in another, you’ll win someone’s heart over.
I go more into this in my guide on how to build your personal brand with your headshots. You can get it here (it’s free).
Tip 4: Google styles for your body type
Ever wonder why something looks good on everyone else, but you put it on and you look like a potato? (I don’t care what your shape is…we’ve all been there.)
That’s because the outfit doesn’t suit your body type. Knowing what style complements your shape takes the guesswork out of what to wear for headshots.
If you don’t know what your body type is, here’s a good quiz Stitch Fix has to help you figure it out. From there, go back to Pinterest and search “outfits for _______ shape”. You may have to play with the wording to get different results.
Note: always go with your gut. If you don’t like the styles that are popping up, you don’t have to wear them. Stick with what you love on yourself most.
Tip 5: Pick one color and build your outfit around that
Simpler is better. If you try to pair a bright green shirt with bold red bracelets, and blue jeans you’re going to look like a Christmas tree.
To avoid that, pick one color you feel most confident in. Then wear that with one other color that complements it. Again, you can search on Pinterest for ways to pair your colors together.
Less is more unless it’s on-brand for you to wear a bunch of different colors and you know how to do it well!
Bonus: bright colors reflect back onto your skin in photos. If you feel weird about having blue or red highlights on your skin, it’s best to leave out the bright, strong shades and go with deeper tones.
Tip 6: Dress in layers
This is similar to bringing multiple outfits, but you can make one outfit go a long way.
In my sessions, guys usually come in with a dress shirt, then add a tie, then add their suit jacket. Ladies usually have their favorite fitted shirt, then add a jacket on top.
This also helps if you get hot or cold easily (I always do).
What to do with this information
Those tips are a great place to start when you’re ready to figure out what to wear for your headshot session.
“What should I wear to my headshot session” is the last question you should be asking yourself when prepping for headshots.
Why? Good headshots aren’t just a placeholder for your vacant profile pictures.
If you use your headshots as a means to build your personal brand (whether you’re a business owner or are job-searching), you can literally get higher-quality jobs and save so many wasted applications.
Your personal brand is what gets people to want to know you, pay attention to you, and take your work seriously.
If you want to learn how to how you can build your personal brand with your headshots, then check out this guide.
Ever feel like you’re unworthy of going out with your friends because you feel unattractive?
Or like you don’t add any value to the world BECAUSE you’re not as good looking as the other people who do what you do? (Because sex sells, right?)
Feel like you want to hide your face to avoid the dread and what-ifs?
Yeah, let’s talk about that. Because I’ve struggled with that my entire life (ugh, hello bacne, nice to see you’re still here).
But I’ve taught myself some things over the years that have helped me release the pressure and, in turn, win people over.
They’ll help you, too.
Here’s what you’ll get from this video:
• 1:02 | How feeling unattractive can stop your career, habits, and hobbies in their tracks
• 1:45 | A perspective that will change your mind when you think you couldn’t be more boring to look at
• 2:49 | The one thing to remember when you’re afraid to be seen in public (aka how you can still woo people even with greasy morning skin and bedhead)
• 5:10 | What a college frat party taught me about myself and how people saw me
• 6:00 | What your feelings of unattractiveness wish you knew
• 7:33 | How to become irresistibly sexy in any moment
Here’s a quote from this video that you’ll love:
“The things that we most often hate about ourselves are the things that people love about us the most.”
You start to get ready for a night out with friends, and the only thought in your mind is, “It’s not gonna be my day.”
But you try to get yourself together anyway.
You put on makeup, curl your hair, and try on 12 different outfits. And—like you predicted—none of them fit your curves the way they should.
It starts to sink in that you don’t want to be seen. You have a sense that everyone’s going to be gawking at your friends, but no one’s gonna want to talk to you.
That’s not a good feeling whatsoever. And none of us are immune to it from time to time.
What life looks like when you feel unattractive
The pressure of having to look good to catch and hold people’s attention is so. much.
And that feeling doesn’t only disrupt your mojo of getting to know new people. It stops your confidence in your career and hobbies, too.
It shows up as a subtle voice that sounds like:
“I don’t want to put myself out there.”
“I don’t have anything to offer that somebody else doesn’t already have to offer, so I’m not gonna waste my time.”
“There’s nothing special about me. Why am I even trying?”
That voice is there to keep us safe from feeling ashamed and embarrassed.
But you don’t have to stay stuck in that space for the rest of your life.
(Side note: let yourself feel those shitty feelings completely. When you do that, they lose power over you, and that actually gives them a space of non-resistance to leave. But once you’ve cleared those feelings, it’s time to add new perspective. Otherwise your mind will rubber-band back to those thought patterns. That’s what it’s trained to do.)
So the next time you’d want to hide behind your covers & a pint of Ben & Jerry’s to not risk being seen, remember these 3 things:
#1 Don’t Punish Yourself
Things are never as they appear to be in our own minds.
It turns out the times we feel like crap about ourselves are the times other people think we’re gorgeous.
What’s really going on is, we can’t always see our own beauty because we’re so used to looking at ourselves.
We see the same “picture” of ourselves over and over again so we numbingly think, “Wow, I couldn’t be more boring to look at.”
I have that run-in with my friends all the time. Sometimes I’ll apologize for my current breakout and that I chose to wear baggy clothes that day.
But their response is always, “No way, I was just thinking about how gorgeous you are when you aren’t even trying! And honestly, I didn’t even notice your acne.”
And I share the same enamored thoughts about them when they want to apologize for how they look.
(Side note: If you think someone is gorgeous, TELL THEM. Even if it’s every time you see them. Do you know how good it feels when someone compliments you?? Yeah, imagine if we all got a daily dose of compliments from friends and strangers. How would we carry ourselves and interact in a world like that?)
#2 Your energy trumps your appearance
Have you ever seen someone who wasn’t “traditionally” attractive? But they had this confidence about who they were and how they did things, that you were so damn attracted to them.
The same goes for you.
There are qualities you have that other people don’t, and that alone makes them drawn to you. The best part? You don’t have to spend a minute dolling yourself up for that.
You’ve experienced this for yourself, too.
Have you ever seen a model-worthy person who turned out to be a total douche? Once you saw that, you didn’t care a bit about how they looked—they became the most unattractive person to you.
Because your vibe is more telling than your looks.
And you don’t have to be to be this perfect, happy-go-lucky kind of person to have attractive energy. All that matters is that you show up and own yourself completely. Your thoughts, your opinions, and your sometimes-quirky looks. There are times I’m not feeling 100% on my confidence game, but people still say that I come off as such a bright light. (Even when I’m feeling like a complete mood-sucker.)
Because people see your energy—the level of realness you’re willing to own. And they can tell when you’re trying too hard to say or do the right thing to get their approval.
When you let yourself be truthful, and you share your stories, likes, and dislikes in a non-defensive way, that draws people in to you. And you become so much sexier than your looks alone could do.
(Also if someone doesn’t like you for those things, GOOD. You don’t need to waste your time trying to force something that isn’t going to fit, period.)
What a frat party taught me about my attraction
I was a freshman at West Chester University when my sister was a senior there. So, like any good older sister would, she took me out to a frat party.
She dressed me up in a cameo and cowgirl boots (holy shit that is not. me.) and ushered me in to wave-pool of people.
I ended up as the lonely girl who leaned against the wall with only a cellphone light illuminating her face. The whole night.
I was so intimidated. Every time my sister introduced me to someone, the conversation stopped at “Hi, nice to meet you!” and I’d turn to look at the floor for reassurance.
I convinced myself that no one wanted to talk to me, and I was clearly the ugliest girl in the room otherwise everyone would have wanted to talk to me.
But it turns out I just don’t connect with frat-party people.
Never did and probably never will. It’s just not me.
Once I changed who I hung around, I realized that I was a people-person, and that I was attractive and desirable to those people.
The point is, there are so many things going for you. You always have something that someone finds attractive. You only have to align with yourself, be honest with yourself, and be real about yourself.
#3 It’s never about your looks
Chances are, if you’re feeling ugly, you’re feeling bad about something else in your life first.
My friend described this perfectly over the phone the other day. “It’s a whole compilation of little things.”
Those things could be:
• You feel like you’ve annoyed someone else and now things are awkward
• You made another mistake at work, and you feel like everyone’s keeping score
• Or you poured your heart out into posts for your business and nobody acknowledged you
All those judgments spill over into the way we see our appearance.
And our entire perspective of ourselves becomes skewed.
And then, like I mentioned, it slows you down and makes you want to give up on everything because you feel unworthy.
Here’s how you turn that around:
Ask yourself, “What’s really going on right now?” Lean into those feelings. And give yourself space to accept what you’re actually stressed about or scared of.
And then address those issues fearlessly. Because you’re bigger than them.
But you owe it to yourself to be honest about what’s really bothering you. That’ll give you space to rebuild the way you see yourself.
You’re gorgeous, and you have all the qualities someone’s looking for. In a friend, in a relationship, and even in business.
Remember these things, and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to be the most attractive person in the room to the right people for you.
You’re attractive for way more reasons than your looks.
All good things, Lauren
P.S. Want people to want to know you? Headshots help catch the attention of the people you’d love to work with. And they help you see yourself in your true power (which means they’re a great motivator). See what you can have for yourself.